Hangovers Aren't All Bad
by Aondeug
Summary: Rose has a night on the town with some friends and returns home to her rainbowdrinker. Fluffy yuri stuff. Comments and reviews are greatly appreciated.


You are twenty eight years old. It has been a good fifteen years since you and your friends recreated the universe from which you hail. There was a deal of trouble with picking up the pieces of your lives, but you managed to grow accustomed to the mundane nature of day to day life once more. Along the way you sold that insufferable house of your mother's and laid your claim to an adorable jadeblooded alien.

You are sitting next to a good friend from that time. He's since grown tall and handsome, but he is still the same John Egbert with his terrible taste in movies. In front of him sits a shot of vodka that you are attempting to bully him into drinking. John isn't much of a drinker and what alcoholic beverages he does consume tend to be things that mask the alcohol flavor with the tastes of a multitude of tropical fruits. In short Egbert likes girly drinks.

To your left is Dave Strider. He is your biological brother though he is not legally considered such. You never did get the oddities involving your family and birth sorted out legally because you never saw the point in it. Dave is tall and lanky and he still wears his sunglasses inside. Old habits die hard. He's currently elbowing John in the ribs teasing him about his taste in drinks. While gloating about his own superior choices of course.

To John's right is one of the strange newcomers your game of Sburb brought to your universe. It had been quite the task trying to get the trolls accustomed to life on Earth and quite the task trying to get Earth accustomed to them. The immigration issues were quickly cleared up however. Turns out that The Thorns of Oglogoth are very persuasive.

This woman is the one known as Vriska Serket. She had been most troublesome, but John and Kanaya worked on helping the girl. Even if she didn't want it she eventually bowed to their incessant meddling and became a much calmer and less self destructive individual. She was still an unpleasant and cruel woman at times, but she had improved quite a bit. She is also ribbing poor, goofy Egbert.

He laughs cutely in defeat as he picks up the small glass. Dave smacks him on the back and declares him to be a true man. Dave's own shot rests in front of him untouched. John gives that dorky smile you have grown up seeing and downs the shot. His face contorts in an expression of disgust and he reaches for his glass of water. Nice, safe and completely non-alcoholic water. He takes a drink of the fluid and coughs a bit. You giggle at him. It feels a bit mean to do so these things to him, but it's part of a tradition. A tradition of mercilessly teasing the buck-toothed man.

Vriska chortles at him and rubs his back. She herself won't be drinking any. None of the trolls did. She just liked to come along for the ride. You were all fine with that though. In fact, you liked her company in a way. Now if only you could get that meddlesome woman at home to join you one of these days. Everything would be perfect then. As it is you are alone.

Like Dave, who still hasn't taken his shot. You shoot the man a look, "Tell me, Dave, are you planning to drink that anytime soon or are you going to spend the whole night congratulating John on his new found manhood?"

His eyebrows raise some and you can see a light red tinge appear on his pale cheeks. He coughs, grins, and puts on his best cool guy voice, "Of course I am Rose. Just have to make sure John here is accustomed to his new manliness."

"Riiiiiiiight."

He shoots the alien woman a look as he raises the small glass from the counter. She grins and shrugs, "Hey don't look at me. I can't poison myself with it like you guys." He quirks an eyebrow and then throws back the clear fluid. He sets the glass down, licks his lips, and gives a small nod. John looks on in amazement. But you know that Dave can't stand vodka and that he would do anything for a chaser right about now. Vriska gives the blond a daring look and asks,"Didja reaaaaaaaally like it?" He just nods again. That's Dave. A wordless cool guy. Even when he's not cool at all.

Sitting in front of yourself are three small glasses. You can drink them all under a table and then some. You can enjoy it too. Perhaps it's a gift from that mother of yours. Wherever your almost super human tolerance for drink comes from it doesn't matter. What does matter is that down all three shots with your same snide smile. You don't reach for the glass of water to your side of John's appletini. You don't ask for anything. Most of all your face doesn't crack in the slightest.

"Wow Rose...I'm still not sure how you can do that!" John says wearing his typical Egbert look of amazement. It's cute and endearing and you've grown to treasure it over the years.

"And to think you're not an alcoholic. You know some days I'm not so sure I can believe that. What are you hiding Lalonde? What dirty speakeasy rum running trade are you running?" Dave says as he steals away John's glass of water, "I'm on to you, Doc."

Vriska lets out a laugh, "Yeah if she even tried Kanaya would be aaaaaaaall up in a tizzy about it. Fussyfangs can't let anything by her ever."

Your superiority over your friends proven you steal John's girl drink. Much as you like showing off you honestly prefer these fruity things. You take a sip and realize something. You had been given a task by that nagging woman you live with and failing in your mission would land you outside the bed tonight. Though that couch is much more comfortable if you think about it. Another drink is taken and then you pass on your piece of information, "Oh yes. Vriska. 'Fussyfangs' has tasked me with the crucial job of informing you that you are to come to our humble abode the following Saturday. She has something to give you I believe."

"You belieeeeeeeeve? How do you not know? You live with the woman!"

You sigh in frustration and take another sip from what had been John's appletini. "I would love to tell you the exact specifics of Kanaya's intentions, but she's been keeping them under wraps. All espionage attempts on my part have met with failure, and I can assure you that I made a great many of them."

You had indeed made attempts to weasel your way into the room where the rainbow drinker worked. Out of curiosity. Each time she bested you and sent you packing. Questions were defeated skillfully and any and all attempts to trick info out of her were found out. Kanaya had gotten quite good at sniffing out such things. She had to learn from the best. That or suffer under your passive aggressive tyranny. The days of repeatedly teasing the woman's inability to lie or understand your sarcasm were long gone. An amusing relic of the past that you two occasionally spoke of.

You finish off John's drink and order yet another martini. How many was that tonight? You had lost count. Your face is warm and John is giving you his normal look of concern. You wave him off and take a sip of your newest drink. You don't go drinking often, but you may as well get completely smashed the few times you do right? Even though Kanaya does nothing but fuss and fret when you do. Why do you want to take her with you again? You can't recall.

"Wow Rose...How many is that this time?" John asks still wearing his Egbert smile of concern.

You raise your hand and open your mouth to start. Truth be told, you have no idea. You sit there stupidly for a moment and bring your hand down slapping the bar counter hard. "I am not certain as of now, but I should be capable of answering your inquiry in full shortly."

It's bullshit and you're aware of this, but you pay it no mind. You take another sip of your drink as John looks to Dave. Again he quirks an eyebrow. He shrugs his shoulders and says, "You know, much as I love keeping a running tally of absolutely everything Rose here stuffs into her face, I haven't been keeping up with it tonight. I can tell you that the woman's already drank Russia out of house and home though."

John looks at Dave with eyes wide in wonder. He believes Strider. Is it the alcohol or that natural Egbert naivety? Probably both. Then he gives an "Ohh!" and laughs before saying, "Oh that was a good one, Dave."

Vriska snorts loudly and smacks John on the back. "Gog John you're as bad as Kanaya when drunk."

"He's much worse actually. It has taken me a good ten years or so, but I've finally succeeded in teaching our fretful little friend how to separate truth from fiction with a 100% accuracy rate."

You say this firmly and defensively. Joking moirail or no you will defend silly Kanaya. Even though Vriska actually loves it as much as you and even though Kanaya still wasn't as good as she could be at telling when someone was pulling her leg. It must be the alcohol. So you finish off your drink and order another. This will be the last for the night.

"Reeeeeeeeally? Fussyfangs is better than John now? Oh John you better hurry up and get better! I can't have you losing to Kanaya!"

"What? Oh. Heh. Yeah! I'll be better!" John says while giggling uncontrollably. He has no idea what just happened. You're certain of it.

Dave is sitting quietly and refusing to drink anything. You know his game. Normally you would complain, but you're far too confused at the moment. No. Instead you finish off your drink and make an announcement, "I will prove to you that Kanaya is far superior to John next week."

"Ohhhhhhhh?"

"Yes. I will. She will weave a tapestry of sarcastic wit the likes of which have never once been seen before. She will tear through all of John's feeble attempts to bamboozle her with all the precision of a neurosurgeon."

"You don't say."

"I do say," you say while smacking the counter. "You will see, Vriska. Kanaya will shock and amaze you in more ways than one next week."

She grins widely and leans over to get a better look at you, "That sounds rather dirty, Lalonde."

You send a glare her way, "I am not sure what it is you are insinuating there, Serket. I can assure you though that no one save myself shall know anything about such private matters."

You're not sure if she's serious or if she's actually implying that at all. It wouldn't be the first time though. Attached to John's person though she was she occasionally made joking moves on her moirail. Or at least you assume they are jokes. They might not be. The only one who knows for certain is likely Kanaya. You doubt even Vriska knows for herself.

"Whaaaaaaaat? Kanaya and me? Oh you have nothing to worry about!"

"She might have to worry about cleaning up your blood again is Kanaya clocks you again." Dave says coolly while taking a sip of his water. His water that was once John's.

Vriska's face turns a deep blue and she looks away, "That was a misunderstanding on Fussyfangs' part."

"I've seen lots of moves in my day, both good and bad, and I can tell you that that was a bona fide ass grab, Serket."

She waves your brother off. "It was a joke, Strider. God."

"Course."

Joke or not, it had startled Kanaya just the same, and Vriska was treated to a face full of rainbow drinker fist; this was followed by hugs and profuse apologies. You have been keeping a closer eye on the blueblood's actions since then.

You stand up abruptly.

"I have the utmost belief in you as always, Serket," you say with your normal stabbing sarcasm. You take a breath, smile, and give your farewell. "Tonight has been lovely, but I must be off before Kanaya tears down the city brick by brick looking for me. I'll see you two this weekend, and you, Dave, I will see when I do."

"Remember Lalonde. Fussyfangs likes cookies."

"I will keep this in mind while I am dying from my hangover tomorrow, Serket."

John smiles and waves. Dave gives a nod and a, "Catch ya later, Rose."

Your goodbyes made you stagger out of the bar. You trip on your foot and Vriska bursts out into laughter. You must remember to get her back for it when you can. You make your way home slowly. It's an uneventful walk. An ambulance speeds by, a man dressed up as Ronald MacDonald danced around you and begged for change, and a woman walked her pet Shetland pony down the street on a leash. Just a normal night in this city.

You fumble through your purse looking for that damned key to your studio apartment. You can't find it and you feel like you're about vomit. You mash the door bell and lean against the door hang. The sounds of someone shuffling about can be heard and then the door opens. She wears that same smile she always does when you've been out. You really hate that smile. You always feel so terrible when you see it. Yet you also love coming home to see it. Even if you still won't admit that to yourself.

You push yourself off the door hang and stumble a bit. You catch yourself, put on a smile, and say, "Do I dazzle you, Kanaya?"

She looks at you for a moment as if asking you if you really just said that. She then lets out a small chuckle and guides you inside. You toss your bag on a table while she shuts the door. Or at least you attempt to. The purse plummets to the ground. She picks it up for you and places it on the table you tried to throw it on. She walks over over to you and removes your coat which she folds and places on the coffee table. You neglect to remove your sandals and continue your drunken march to the room you share with the fussy alien woman.

And then you vomit halfway there. She sighs and grabs hold of you. You apologize as she hurries you off. You flop down on your bed and begin to curl up. She busies herself with removing your shoes and jewelry. After she sets these aside she struggles with the comforter until she succeeds in tucking you into bed. She gives your shoulder a squeeze and you mumble, "Thanks...". She walks off, presumably to clean up the mess you made and continue her secret project. And then you doze off.

The next morning you wake up to a pounding headache. Kanaya isn't beside you. She rises early to do whatever it is she does in secret. That or clean. On the nightstand sits two aspirin, a glass of water, and a note in her neat handwriting.

"Drink All Of It Please"

You sigh, grab the pills, pop them in your mouth and take a large drink of the tepid fluid. You down the rest of the glass and get up to find that you're still in the same clothes you wore last night. You decide that today is opposite day and undress, only to put on your night clothes: an oversized t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts. You toss your clothes from last night into the hamper and neglect to make your bed. Instead you enter the living room to find Kanaya busily cleaning the shelves. You walk your way over to the other woman and drape yourself over her. She pauses from her dusting and says, "It is good to see that you are up at a decent time, Rose."

Maybe it's the hang over or maybe you're just always that easy to rile up, but that greeting frustrates you some. You express your childish distaste by giving her a sound bite on the shoulder. Your revenge made you rest your head against her and close your eyes. Which was a very stupid idea. Your head starts to swim and you hastily open your eyes once more. You give a small growl and bite her again. She doesn't do much about your abuse. She's smiling. You know she is. It's that smile you have that volatile love-hate relationship with.

"Morning."

Your greeting is short and there's a slight tinge of irritation in your voice. Your head hurts and Kanaya's being her normal ever compassionate self. So you bite her again. It won't help any and you know that, but you do it anyway. You're really quite the petulant child. It's rather embarrassing.

"Are you attempting to inform me of a desire for food?"

She only sounds part way serious about this question. She's gotten much better at that humor thing, but she still retains much of her old naivety. You think that that's adorable and charming. You bury your face against her back and nuzzle the glowing woman.

"That was not my intention, no. Food would be lovely though, I am thinking."

"Would you like for me to prepare breakfast for you?"

You're starting to feel guilty again. That's silly though. Just take her kindness and repay it by nibbling on her and refusing to let her clean. Having told you mind that you will having none of its paranoid nonsense you say, "Yeah. I'd like that a lot." It comes out as a muffled mumble. You don't budge from your spot. You continue to hang all over her. She patiently waits for a moment as is her won't.

"Rose?"

"Mmm?"

"I cannot make for breakfast for you while I am standing in our living room."

Coming from anyone else that would have sounded haughty and rude, were it not so amusingly long and wordy. And normally you would respond to it with a bone cuttingly snide remark. This is lovely Kanaya though and while you don't play nice with her you do curb your tongue a great deal. "I was thinking that perhaps you could use your psychical alien vampire powers to make it from here. Are you attempting to tell me, Kanaya, that you are incapable of such rudimentary feats of psychic manipulation?"

"I am most certainly indeed implying that this is not only most likely the case, but that it is in absolute certainty the case in full."

"You don't say."

You shift a bit and rest your chin on her shoulder. She's smiling widely.

"I do say."

"What kind of vampire are you then?"

"I regret to inform you that I am a rather pathetic variety that has taken to referring to itself, to use your Earth vernacular, vegetarian."

You snort and burst into laughter. She joins you enthusiastically. You're not sure why you two still keep the jokes about that silly book series alive. Sentimentality more than likely. Your fun had you let go of her and stand up. You stretch and say, "Oh well that's quite the shocking revelation. Can vegetarian vampires cook at all?"

"They most certainly can. It is an ancient and most secret art passed down to all the vegetarian walkers of the night both young and old. Even on Alternia where they are instead, most curiously, walkers of the day," she says as she turns around to look at you. You want to go back to clinging to her, but you need food. Food might help your hangover a bit.

"Intriguing," you say while grinning at her. You're sure you look stupid. You're fine with that though. She gives you a peck on the cheek and walks off.

"Breakfast should be ready in around thirty of your earth minutes at the most."

"'kay," you respond while making your way to the couch. You sit down and lean back for a moment. Then you flop down on your side. That was a bad idea. Your head feels worse now. So you turn around and bury your face into the soft material.

This couch always smells nice. She doesn't let it get to a point where it does not. Not like John and Vriska whose couch smells of a mix of snacks and bodies. Kanaya almost cried out in horror when she came across their home on a bad day. You smile about that. That look on her face was cute.

God you're a bitch.

You lay there thinking back on these amusing memories as sounds of something frying come from the kitchen. You giggle like a doofus over the sizzling. She had started to clean up the Egbert-Serket home that day and Vriska complained about it loudly.

"Gaaaaaaaawd Fussyfangs it's fine! I'll get to it later!"

"That is almost certainly what you said months ago."

"Aaaaaaaand?"

"I will not have my moirail and her matesprit living in such conditions!"

"Hmph!"

"Indeed."

That conversation had amused you greatly. It was funny to see that huge bitch brought under control like that and it was funny to see your normally demure lover so forceful over something as silly as a dirty room. You giggle again as the sound of the toaster popping up rings through your home.

You can hear her fussing about something. She must have burnt something a bit. You won't mind and she knows that, but she fusses and frets regardless. It's her natural state of being. A Kanaya who isn't fussing is a Kanaya who is very far from well. You've only seen this once luckily, when she and Vriska had been having relationship troubles. After an argument, the rainbow drinking girl had grown distressingly apathetic and listless. Vriska had received a sound slap and stern talking to. Strangely, this act of violence had brought out the sensible and compassionate woman in Serket. Or maybe that's not so strange at all considering who she is.

You push yourself up as Kanaya walks back into the room. You didn't hear her. You never do. You're not sure it it's some latent rainbow drinker skill, or if she's always been light in her movements. You thankfully don't need to hear her though. It's left over from your days as The Seer of Light, your uncanny ability to know where she is at all times. That Nepeta girl has remarked on how "pawsitively cute!" that is. Dave's done little but joke about it.

"It's like you guys have some sort of Vulcan mind meld going on."

"That's not how it works, Dave."

"Yeah it is. I should know. I've watched every episode of Battlestar Gallactica. All five series."

"There's two and the Vulcans are from Star Trek."

"Nuh-uh. Remember. Time travel, babe."

You look at Kanaya for a moment while brushing thoughts of your silly friends from your mind. She's standing there smiling at you. You lift yourself off the couch and walk your way over to her.

"Breakfast is now completed and ready for your consumption," she says as you walk past her. You pause for a moment, turn back, and kiss her. It's a short thing, but it brings you quite a big surge of joy. You make a light grab at her rear while you're at it as well. She swats your hand away and playfully scolds you.

After saying, "Thanks," you head to the table to eat your meal. It's a light breakfast, but it is sufficiently tasty and greasy. Thank god your stomach didn't decide to rebel against you as well. She sits across from you and talks about work. You make the occasional comment about her life as a mediator. You two really shouldn't talk about your careers at all like this, but you do anyway. Only amongst yourselves though. You can trust her to not run off and blab to the world about one of your patients and she can trust you to keep quiet as well.

You're nibbling away at your last piece of toast when she says, "Oh. Yes. This is most unfortunate, but I must inform you that one of your patients has tracked down our home phone number again."

You set the piece of bread down and sigh. "God dammit. It's Walker isn't it?"

"It is, yes. I am sorry. I should have waited to inform you of this when you were feeling better."

You rub your temples. She looks genuinely remorseful about this. Goodness she's silly. "No. It's fine. I'll have to have a talk with him about this next session."

"And change our number again."

"God dammit."

"I'm sorry."

You smile at her, "You didn't do anything. Now hush."

"But-"

"I said hush, Fussyfangs."

Her eyes widen and she blushes. Or at least you assumes she's blushing. It's hard to see a lot of the time because of her constant glowing. Still you're sure she's blushing which means you succeeded. You don't call her this often and for good reason. It's not your nickname and it wouldn't work like this if you used it all the time.

"Oh fine."

You return to eating your toast and you watch her with amusement. She knows that you're teasing her and it's getting her even more wiggly and upset. Which just makes you smile.

"You are incredibly mean, Rose."

You swallow your last mouthful and stick your tongue out at her. She starts to pout and she busies herself with cleaning your dishes. You just sit in your seat and gloat wordlessly. When she finished drying the plate and fork she starts to clean the counters. They aren't dirty. It's a nervous habit of hers.

You don't cease in your cruelty though. No. You continue.

"Kanaya why don't you stop polishing our already immaculate kitchen counters and get a bite to eat."

She stops in her movements for a moment. "No. You are still not feeling well. I can wait. It is fine."

"Oh I'm fine and you know it. I'm not going to die because I have a hangover."

"I know that you will not, but just the same I feel that we should postpone my feeding until you are at full strength."

This is starting to frustrate you. Why is she so stubbornly selfless at all times? "Kanaya you stop that cleaning now and ravish me or I will get the garlic." It's a joke but your slight irritation can be heard.

She stops scrubbing and after rinsing and wringing out the sponge she sets it aside with a sigh.

"Kanaya."

She's still standing there. You are leaning back in your seat.

"I'll get the troll garlic too and then you will be helpless."

"I thought you wanted to feed me."

"I do."

"Threatening me with bulbous plants does not seem conducive to this end."

"Kanaya."

"Oh fine."

"Thank you."

She walks to you and is wearing a look of frustrated defeat. You stretch your neck out and she glares at you.

"Ravish me."

She complies at last and leans down. She sinks her fangs into your throat and tears the skin some. Just enough to get a stream of blood flowing. You've grown used to the pain. You don't even wince anymore.

She laps away hungrily at your blood. Her hand is resting on your shoulder. She squeezes tightly. Eating always seems to have a two-fold satisfaction for her. You're not certain if that's normal for rainbow drinker or if it's the result of her fetish for the creatures. You think it's probably a little of both.

She finishes with her feeding after giving one last lick. Her breathing is somewhat ragged, you note. She pulls a band-aid from her pocket. She keeps a steady amount of bandages on her person at all times. She patches up your wound and stands back. You can a slight green tint to her cheeks. For once her blushing is noticeable over the light.

"See. I'm fine and now you're a happy and well fed little parasite."

She gives you that look again. You really do hate that look. It always makes you want to pull the pouty alien into a hug. So you do. You stand up. You're a bit dizzy and she makes a move to sit you back down. You refuse this though and wrap your arms around her tightly.

"Don't start."

"But-"

You bite her.

"I said no, Kanaya."

"Oh fine."

She returns your embrace and rests her head against yours. She's still wanting to fuss. She doesn't though. She says nothing at all in fact. You do though, "Now we are going to go to the couch and you are going to sit down. Then I am going to sit beside you and lounge all over you while I wait for my hangover to end."

You can tell she wants to protest this. She doesn't though. You let go of her and pull yourself away. She has a small smile on her face. You hold out your hand, "Now will my daywalker escort me to the sitting room?"

She laughs lightly and takes your hand, "She will most certainly do so."

You walk to the couch hand in hand. You sit down first and she takes a seat beside you. You immediately proceed to snuggle up against her and she immediately begins to talk about how something needs cleaning, "The shelves are in dire need of dusting."

"They can dust themselves," you say while nuzzling her. There's a grin on your face. A wide, stupid, goofy grin of absolute contentment.

"That is positively ridiculous. How do you expect me to believe such a ludicrous statement?"

"They are vampire shelves. The most magical of vampire breeds as well."

"Oh?"

"Yes. They are strict carnivores."

"Intriguing."

You two laugh together. She wraps an arm around you and pulls you closer. Your head still hurts like a bitch and you're dizzy as hell, but you've never been happier before. Even though you've told yourself that many times before while resting against her.

"I do believe that I am most flushed for you, Kanaya."

"And I am certain that I am in love with you, Rose."

It's a silly tradition of sorts that you two developed over the years. Strangers look on in confusion at it, Eridan pouts and whines about his lack of filled quadrants, Equius complains about how scandalous it is, and Karkat grumbles like the crab he is. You are sure though. Absolutely certain that you are completely and totally flushed for Kanaya Maryam. And you wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
